Current:Home > MyHis wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment. -StockSource
His wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment.
View
Date:2025-04-13 10:27:42
Grief affects us all – but not in ways we always consider. People die, yes, but so do pets. We can grieve dreams, jobs, our health, past versions of ourselves. Grief is not linear; it does not come in stages, a common misconception. It's unique to the individual.
After embarking on a series to document different grief journeys, we asked for your input. What kinds of grief had you experienced? Would you be willing to share your story publicly?
With more than 120 responses and counting, here's a look at what some of you shared. You can submit your own story here.
Bill Badgley, 72
"(My wife) Carol was hit by a falling tree as she walked home. She was found by a neighbor. By the time I was notified and could get to the scene, she was in an ambulance but a pool of blood and the downed tree were still there. In the ambulance, the blood was soaking her pillow, but she opened her eyes when I spoke her name. The tree broke ribs and vertebrae and caused a traumatic brain injury. A piece of her skull was removed to allow for swelling of the brain. Carol lived for 11 weeks in the hospital where I went to be with her every day.
The day before she died, she fought to come back a last time and returned my kiss twice, the only time this happened in the 11 weeks. I wrote and delivered Carol’s memorial service. I needed to do it. I focused on four lessons that Carol had taught me, the most important being that love is the miracle. Our grave marker will say as much. Now that she’s gone, the trauma of the event and the hospitalization does not recede. I remain angry and bewildered about how this could happen. How I see nature and life has changed. I am incredibly lost without Carol. I am diminished and no longer whole. I have a small urn with some of her ashes. There are pictures of her on either side. There is a sculpture of a loon, Carol’s favorite bird. There are some shells that we collected together on Sanibel Island, including left and right angel wing shells. I greet Carol every morning. I speak to her before bed. 'I love you. I miss you. Please be with me when you can. Please wait for me.'"
Melissa Monroe, 54
"When a military friend pointed out that the paralyzing guilt I suffered after my 2-year-old daughter Alice died of Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) was a product of PTSD, I dismissed him. 'I have not been to war! My symptoms do not deserve to be considered PTSD.' I argued. As an acupuncturist specializing in mental health, I was familiar with the signs. Still, I had not recognized them in myself until my friend’s patient insistence led me to consult the checklist. Then I realized he was right.
I was one of the increasing number of bereaved parents who experienced traumatic guilt, which is associated with heightened suicidal ideation. Trauma-related guilt commonly presents with both grief and PTSD but is less widely discussed than other symptoms. It can occur following any type of loss but is particularly predominant among bereaved parents."
In case you missed:My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Brooke Westlake, 42
"I was my grandma Bev's primary caretaker ... she had Alzheimer’s for 10 years … When she died it was just me and her. I was holding her. She took one breathe and left. It was like I watched her soul float away.
Her only child and son, and my biological father died three years later. His death was pretty horrific and heartbreaking. He had struggled with drug and alcohol addiction his entire life.
July of 2022, I helped my stepfather with end of life care. We got five lovely days together before he started the transition. I helped my mom with the process, because she had never been through the death process. And April of this year (2023), my grandpa Don, my father's dad, died. I was able to see him before he passed, but it was also overwhelming to know that was the last time we would see each other. I tried to stay positive the entire time, but broke down crying on and off. It’s been several years of grief stacked up on top of each other. Some days I’m grateful that the people I love are no longer suffering and then other days I just wish they were still here, so I could see them, hug them, laugh with them, cry with them, talk with them. All these wonderful people I have cherished and lost have all one thing in common. We all loved laughing together.
In 2024, I’m getting a very specific tattoo for each of them on their birthdays with their signature, from how they would sign cards or letters to me."
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to reach someone with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They're available 24 hours a day and provide services in multiple languages.
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
Have you seen?'The Golden Bachelor,' 'Selling Sunset' and grieving on TV
veryGood! (229)
Related
- Bill Belichick's salary at North Carolina: School releases football coach's contract details
- Tracy Chapman, Luke Combs perform moving duet of 'Fast Car' at the 2024 Grammy Awards
- Killer Mike escorted out of Grammys in handcuffs after winning 3 awards
- Texas mother rescues 2 children, dies trying to save 1-year-old from house fire
- Warm inflation data keep S&P 500, Dow, Nasdaq under wraps before Fed meeting next week
- Céline Dion Makes Rare Public Appearance at 2024 Grammys Amid Health Battle
- Police raided George Pelecanos' home. 15 years later, he's ready to write about it
- Jacob Elordi Under Police Investigation After Alleged Assault Incident With Radio Producer
- 'Malcolm in the Middle’ to return with new episodes featuring Frankie Muniz
- Bruce Willis' wife, Emma Heming Willis, to publish book on caregiving
Ranking
- Juan Soto to be introduced by Mets at Citi Field after striking record $765 million, 15
- Ariana Grande Shares Touching Tribute to Victoria Monét After 2024 Grammys Win
- California power outage map: Over 400,000 customers with no power after heavy downpours
- A Tesla plunged into frigid water in Norway. The motorists were rescued by a floating sauna as their car sank.
- How to watch new prequel series 'Dexter: Original Sin': Premiere date, cast, streaming
- Ben Affleck Leans Into “Sad Affleck” Memes in Dunkin’s 2024 Grammys Commercial
- Why problems at a key Boeing supplier may help explain the company's 737 Max 9 mess
- East Palestine Residents Worry About Safety A Year After Devastating Train Derailment
Recommendation
The White House is cracking down on overdraft fees
Doc Rivers will coach NBA All-Star Game after one win with Bucks. How did that happen?
Father of Chiefs star Patrick Mahomes arrested in Texas on suspicion of drunk driving
Suspect armed with a knife and hammer who wounded 3 in French train station may have mental health issues, police say
Sam Taylor
Killer Mike escorted out of Grammys in handcuffs after winning 3 awards
Kelly Rizzo Dating Breckin Meyer 2 Years After Husband Bob Saget’s Death
Ben Affleck Leans Into “Sad Affleck” Memes in Dunkin’s 2024 Grammys Commercial